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A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. Proverbs 13:24

The biggest malpractice of love comes from those who say they love but will not correct another.

The most hateful act is to not correct when I see a loved one headed for destruction. Not caring enough to come alongside is a sure sign I love only myself and not the other, preferring to keep safe from possible rejection rather than risk in hope for the other’s welfare.

Why do I do such a spiteful thing? Why would I not share the truth that can set another free?

Four reasons, no five.

One, I assume the other is determined to follow a destructive path and wants no help. More likely the individual is either willfully seeking attention, crying for help by acting out, or is simply ignorant. In both cases I must risk helping rather than intentionally ignore. My ignorance only proves my unwillingness to deepen our relationship to find out.

Two, stemming from my ignorance is that I feel I should mind my own business. But then I’ve forgotten what my business is and Who I work for. The reason I don’t see it as helping to correct others is I’ve not taken the time to build a relationship in a way that I may speak truth in love in a way that will be received. I may have spoken truth before, but it was rejected because it wasn’t in love and it wasn’t about our relationship.

Third, I feel judging others will mean I will be judged by the same measure. The trouble is we aren’t talking about judging. Judging is what I do when I tell others what they’re doing wrong, but do not offer to help and really don’t want to. In fact, I may take a not-so-secret joy when their paths do lead to destruction. Saying “I told you so” is the clearest indication I care only about being right, not helping.

Fourth, I’m uncertain of the Truth myself. Yet, since Truth is a person (“I am the Truth, the Way, and the Life…”), if I’m walking in the Way then I know the Truth. The reason I’m unsure is because I’m out of step. Even carnal people speak with certainty when they think they know it all. Better is my state as a Believer with full access to the Word and the Truth that I should walk in confidence. Not faith in myself but in Him.

Fifth, let’s just face it, I don’t really love the other person. If I’m willing to let my child go down a path I know is to his detriment without loving instruction, I’m taking the easy way out by not parenting. If I’m willing to let my friend live separated from God without sharing what His grace and forgiveness means to me, I can’t say I truly love my friend.