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I’m dying to reach Him, killing myself so I can be like Christ, not like me.

He had healed many people, and now everyone who had something wrong was pushing and shoving to get near and touch him. -Mark 3:7

I definitely have something wrong with me, particularly if I’m not pushing and shoving and doing everything I can to get near Jesus. The reason I don’t is I think everything is right with me. Or I haven’t yet truly realized who this Jesus is. If I did then I would be doing everything possible to just be near enough to touch Him, to be in His presence.

The irony is Jesus lives inside me, so I haven’t so far to go. But somehow I manage to distance myself at times, ignoring the fact that while I’ve turned my back He always has mine. So the real question is: Am I pushing and shoving everything else I’ve crammed in my life out of the way so all I see is Him?

Not often enough. I put the good things God has given me in my work, family, and friends to occupy myself rather than to be occupied with Jesus. I take side trips in my mind that would make anyone else question if Jesus is my companion, were they to see how far I’m willing to go without asking His opinion. At times I aimlessly drift without concern here or there, instead of taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5).

What was obvious to those of Jesus’ days here on earth was their dreadful position apart from the source of rejuvenating life. Here was one capable of fixing whatever ails. All they had to do was make contact.

What is my position in life when I am in contact with Jesus? My physical ails may still be with me. Maybe my mental or spiritual ailments too, those which make me weak so his strength shines through my life (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). But when I come face to face with Jesus, I see what He sees reflecting in his eyes: a man powerless on his own, but purified by His life to serve His purposes.

Coming to grips with where I am when I stand alone should make me push and shove everything else out of the way to get in touch. I’m dying to reach Him, killing myself so I can be like Christ, not like me.